Workplace Wellbeing: Dark side of office gossip 

“Whenever humans come together, there will be gossip,” she says.

A 2019 University of California study found that we gossip for an average of 52 minutes every day. Before we tut-tut at this finding, Martinescu says that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Gossip is one of the ways in which we share information about others. “It allows us to learn about other people based on their past behaviour, so that we can decide if we want to interact with them in the future,” she says. “Our own observations are always going to be limited, so it’s helpful to take what others have seen and heard into account too.”

Gossip can also help us to understand social norms. “Hearing how people talk about the behaviour of others teaches us what is and isn’t acceptable and we then modify our own behaviour accordingly,” says Martinescu.

HR consultant and founder of hrbuddy.ie Damien McCarthy agrees that gossip can be beneficial but warns of its negative impact.

“It can signal an open and welcoming workplace and show camaraderie among a team,” he says. “But when it becomes negative or malicious, it can end up damaging the workplace environment.”

Work and organisational psychologist Leisha Redmond McGrath explains the difference between the two types of gossip.

“A colleague gets engaged and one person’s reaction is to say: ‘I heard so-and-so got engaged. How exciting! Another person says: ‘Did you see her ring? It’s tiny!’ Both of these comments could be regarded as gossip, but one comes from a place of kindness that encourages social bonding, while the other promotes comparison and judgement, which isn’t good for anyone.”

The difference between the two isn’t always easy to recognise. “Gossip can be pro-social, in that it’s intended to help other people, but it can also deliberately set out to smash someone’s reputation,” says Martinescu. “People who are practised at gossip know how to package it so that it masks their true motivation.”

Good or bad intentions

Redmond McGrath has tips on how we can learn to read between the lines. “Ask yourself why the gossiper is sharing this information,” she says. “Are they trying to put someone down or elevate themselves? Would they speak about the person in the same way if the person were right in front of them? These questions will help you to decide if the gossip crosses the line from information sharing to something more toxic.”

We may also be able to tell the difference between the two types of gossip by noticing how listening to it makes us feel.

“Malicious gossip creates a bad working environment,” says Martinescu. “People withdraw from those around them because they worry about how they will be perceived and how their words and actions might be twisted.”

Toxic gossip undermines trust, says Redmond McGrath. “If people talk about others, we can’t help but wonder if they talk behind our back too. This makes us reluctant to share any personal information and affects our capacity to form strong bonds and friendships at work. It can also affect our performance as we don’t feel safe to express our whole selves.”

McCarthy adds other potential knock-on effects. “Gossip can lead to an erosion of morale and hurt feelings and reputations,” he says. “It can increase anxiety among employees as rumours circulate, division as people take sides, and a failure to retain people as good employees leave the company because of an unhealthy work environment.”

He urges organisations to put policies in place to discourage gossip that hurts an employee. “These policies need to be as clear as possible, giving examples of negative gossip so that people understand what it is,” he says. “They should also explain why gossip is controlled by outlining its effects on employee relationships, esteem, and company attrition. And to show how seriously the company take the issue, there should be penalties for workers who routinely engage in negative gossip.”

A strong stance on gossiping must be balanced with workers’ right to talk freely.

“Employees still have the right to talk about workplace topics such as wages, hours and working conditions,” says McCarthy. “Their environment should also be one in which they are comfortable chatting and engaging in harmless banter.”

Redmond McGrath advises organisations to accompany the introduction of anti-gossip policies with training. “This can be a really effective way of starting a conversation,” she says. “It gives everyone an understanding of the damage that gossip can do and can also provide them with skills they can use and the steps they can take to stand up against it.”

If gossip is particularly prevalent in your organisation, Martinescu urges you to consider why this might be so.

“What’s happening in that environment,” she asks. “Is it very competitive? Is there a lot of uncertainty? Gossiping can be an alarm signal drawing attention to a problem that needs to be addressed.”

One way of addressing it could be to provide avenues for workers to air their grievances. Another is for managers to communicate that they are available to talk about any problems relating to the workplace.

“Open channels of communication help to limit gossip,” says McCarthy.

Avoid joining in

Employees can take a stand against gossip. “This isn’t always easy as no one wants to set themselves apart from the group,” says Redmond McGrath. “But we shouldn’t feel that we have to partake in malicious gossip. We can simply stay quiet or say something about not feeling comfortable talking about others in that way before changing the subject. Most people don’t want to be part of a toxic conversation and they’ll follow our lead.”

Martinescu also advises us to pay close attention to our own gossiping tendencies. “If we hear gossip, we need to think about what’s driving it,” she says. “We should only share something that has a positive intent behind it.”

She sympathises with those who become the subject of office gossip. “This can be a painful position to be in,” she says. “It can lead to people withdrawing into themselves and away from the group.”

Rather than suffering in silence, Redmond McGrath recommends that we look for support if this happens to us. “Chat to a colleague or, if you feel strong enough, address it with the person who started the rumour,” she says. “If you decide on the latter, bring a third party along with you, maybe another colleague or someone from HR. Just remember; being subjected to gossip can be a form of bullying, especially if it’s sustained and has negative intentions or consequences.”

Martinescu’s research has shown her that gossip is a double-edged sword and her advice is to treat it as such.

“Gossip can be a really useful resource, bringing us information and clarity about the environment and people around us and highlighting both existing and potential problems,” she says. “But it can also be driven by harmful motivations that are designed to do damage. We need to be aware of this so that we can decide how we react and what we should do with the gossip that comes our way.”